dear chris broussard: the gays pay your salary. so shut up.

In case you don’t have the interwebz, don’t follow sports or gay rights or the news, or don’t generally enjoy equality, you may not know that Chirs Broussard, an ESPN sports analyst and writer, is a bigot. After NBA athlete Jason Collins came out as homosexual, Broussard, on live TV, discussed his personal views on homosexuality. Observe below:

“I’m a Christian. I don’t agree with homosexuality.  I think it’s a sin, as I think all sex outside of marriage between a man and a woman is.  If you’re openly living in unrepentant sin … that’s walking in open rebellion to God and to Jesus Christ.”

He continued to ramble on about he is sick of stereotypes inflicted on those who disapprove of homosexuals.  He believes he is being unfairly labeled as a bigot.  


Dear Chris,


You’re a bigot. Want to know why?

You are singling out a type of person, a type of person who cannot help their sexual orientation, just like the color of their skin or the shape or their cankles. It’s not a choice. If it was, do you think myself and millions of Americans would choose to be gay? Well, actually, I would, but a lot of my friends in the community have struggled with the decision of coming out because of assholes like you. Assholes who bring their religion to work with them and put it on blast in inappropriate settings.  I don’t tune into ESPN to hear about your religion, I tune in for stats (and for a glimpse at Tebow because I squint and pretend he’s my type of woman.) Kind of funny, that you, Mr. NOT A BIGOT, haven’t even mentioned recently out athlete Brittney Griner. Oh, is it because she’s a woman and that her coming out wasn’t as big of a deal because she was already mannish and aggressive?  You know what, don’t say anything, because I’m not fucking done.

You don’t like gays? WE PAY YOUR SALARY DOUCHEBAG.  ESPN has countless sponsors, many of whom support the gays including Nike, the company that partners with ESPN on the combine and countless other events. Who did Nike just sign for ad contracts? Oh, yea. Griner and Collins. Weird, huh?

Not enough to convince you that it is not your place to discuss Jesus on ESPN? Ok, well let’s talk about the sports ESPN covers…

Conservative estimates of homosexuals in ‘Merica claim the stats are about 1 in 10, while some stats list us as 1 in 5… ahhhh!!!!!!!! Chris, we’re like Visa. WE’RE EVERYWHERE. So let’s just say it’s 1 in 8 and split the difference. For the 8 billion the NFL rakes in every year, gays bring in about 6.4 mil of it. NBA? About 4 mil. We can keep going ( I know some gays that watch archery and love it), but what I’m saying to you is that the sports you love to cover are covered financially by us.  Head to a tailgate on a Sunday throughout a beautiful Ohio autumn (you went to college in Ohio so I know you know how beautiful it can be), and I guarantee you will see countless cute lesbians in skinny jeans and jerseys, drinking NFL sponsored beer and playing cornhole. Mmmmmm.  And have you ever been to a mimosa tailgate with my friend Connor and all of his gays? SO MUCH CHAMPAGNE. You don’t even know, gurl. AND COLLEGE SPORTS? I haven’t met a lesbian in this town yet that doesn’t own a buckeye jersey. You’re banned from the lesbian bar if you don’t have a Lids hat in scarlet and grey, fo’ real.

Your lame ass apology wasn’t even an apology. You claim you “always express” your Christian views, and this shouldn’t have been any different. Well, it was. Because you attacked someone for who they are. And if you want to do that, I know a great little church that would love to have you as a guest speaker in Kansas called Westboro Baptist. Then you could get the fuck off the air, and work in a small town with your small mind and run a small blog there.

I get it Chris, it’s tough being successful AND semi-famous on a cable sports network. Phew! I don’t know HOW you manage all that hatred with your family and your job and the traveling and blah bah blah. So maybe cut out the bigotry. Because I can honestly say, as one of the gays pay-rolling your hateful ass, every time I hear a bigoted, ignorant, insensitive remark like that, I’m just going to have MOOOOOOORE LEESSSBIAAAAAN SEX. For you, Chris.


Kisses and Scissors,


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