The Trans Military Ban: The Daring Argument for Dignity

On the morning of January 22nd, the Supreme Court of the United States upheld the Trump administration’s ban on transgender individuals serving in the military. While legal challenges are allowed to continue in the lower courts and work their way up to the Supreme Court, the Court determined in the meantime, the ban will be in place. This ban – that came into fruition via Twitter from President Trump in 2017, is a disgusting ploy to rile up his wavering base in the midst of a neverending government shutdown while he attempts to hold Americans hostage to get money for his wall, which has now reached the point of grotesque xenophobic fetish.

Honestly, I’ve been infuriated about this all morning. I’ve been trying to find words and justifications and excuses, and all I can think about is having to talk to a member of my family that supports Trump about this. So I have framed it below in preparation for the calls I’ll get, and I hope this can help you as we try to change minds of the folks we can talk to, and to let go of the conversations with folks that are hopeless.

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Why you should talk politics at the holiday dinner table this year.

“You should be able to put politics aside- it’s the holidays.”

“Don’t cause family drama.”

“Why can’t we all just get along?”

Sharon- we can’t just get along because you voted for a sexist, racist, xenophobic sycophant who has no sense of common decency, tradition, or truth.

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT. YOU ARE GOING HOME AGAIN FOR THE HOLIDAYS. Why? Why didn’t you book that solo trip to Italy you’ve been talking about? And by “book a solo trip to Italy” I mean, “lie to your family and stay home alone with a bunch of thai take-out and your ex’s HBO-go password.”

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How to talk to transphobic jerks about bathrooms bills.

BATHROOM BILLS. You’ve seen them. You’ve heard about them. You’ve screamed about them. (Well… I have.) In the 2017 legislative session (and we are only in April, folks), 14 states have already introduced legislation that restricts bathroom access for trans folks. These bills restrict access in unique ways- by circumventing basic human rights with claiming these bills PROTECT WOMEN AND CHILDREN FROM PREDATORS. They range from state to state on language, some required “bathroom attendants” to monitor bathroom participants (how you check gender at the door is beyond me) or requiring same sex bathrooms while adding a provision defining gender as the “biological sex you were assigned at birth” (which is also arbitrary as many in the population who are intersex are assigned a gender out of habit, convenience, and/or shame.) Continue reading

My favorite February holiday: a list of President’s Day activities to rival the most giddy historian.

I know what’s on your mind. It’s on my mind too. It’s on EVERYONE’S mind. The thoughts and feelings about this particular day spill into the air and the subconscious like a gust just moments after January first. The day looms, the pressure looms, and then, all of a sudden…. IT’S HERE. The holiday that you are *never* prepared for and it seems like everyone else is crushing: President’s Day.

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Surviving January in the Gym: A Realistic Guide to your Fitness Resolution

A lot of you readers may not know this, but before I was an attorney with way too many pants suits, I was actually a personal trainer, spinning instructor, and boxing coach. For five years, a spent my days listening to people tell me about their lives, loves, jobs, and breakfast choices while I made them sweat. I taught group classes, couples training, one-on-one training with all sorts of people: grandmothers looking to have the energy to run after their grandkids at the park, and Olympic level athletes looking to qualify one last time. I’ve trained NHL wives and 89 year-old judges (well, one judge in particular but we spent most of the hour talking about his favorite operas.) I was a baby gay in windpants with a Justin Bieber haircut trying to make a difference. Continue reading