Rebecca Lohner of Pocatello, Idaho, and her partner, Lynn Watson, were recently photographed for one of the millions of articles being “published” on LGBT websites globally about the sweeping legal changes in the last week that have made same sex marriage legal in many states. Idaho’s ruling was stayed by Justice Kennedy, but that hasn’t kept pictures of queers flooding websites, holding hands, kissing, and being married in town halls with now almost 30 states having marriage equality. But Rebecca was puzzled when she saw the picture.

“I thought I was looking better, but I really look awful in that picture,” Rebecca explained. “It’s like the photographer was taking the picture while sitting down… I look like I have two extra chins. Doesn’t the photographer use Instagram? You have to take pictures from above the subject. I should know- I take a lot of selfies.”

Rebecca went on to explain that she and Lynn immediately joined a local women’s circuit training gym after seeing the picture that all of her family and friends were sharing all over social media.

“My boss sent it out to the whole company. I was mortified. It’s not that I thought I looked like Ellen or anything, but it was really just not a good picture.”

Note: this post is a JOKE. Literally. I didn’t submit it to a satirical site because I couldn’t figure  it out. I’m old and don’t understand the internetz.